1984

Here's a quick review of the first book I finished this year:


1984 by George Orwell
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

As a fan of dystopian fiction, I felt I ought to read this book. It is the most well known of dystopian fiction, isn't it?

The world was excellent, well thought out and presented perfectly. As expected. It was appropriately horrible and disturbing.

Overall, although I didn't not enjoy it, I wasn't really enthralled with it. The politics and philosophies were really interesting, but the characters were flat and...not unlikable, but...boring. I didn't care about them. Winston and Julia...would they die? Would they live? Would they be caught by the Thought Police? I really didn't care either way. And because I didn't care about the characters, the story just didn't excited me.

Nearing the end, I just wanted it to be over.

On a scale from Totally Awesome to Horrifically Awful, I'd give it an Alright. I'm glad I read it, but only for the sake of having read it, not because I enjoyed it all that much.

View all my reviews

Pandemonium

Pandemonium by Lauren Oliver

This is book two in the Delirium trilogy. Read my review of book one here.

From Amazon: I’m pushing aside 

the memory of my nightmare, 

pushing aside thoughts of Alex, 

pushing aside thoughts of Hana 

and my old school, 

push, 

push, 

push, 

like Raven taught me to do.

The old life is dead.

But the old Lena is dead too.

I buried her.

I left her beyond a fence,

behind a wall of smoke and flame.

Lauren Oliver delivers an electrifying follow-up to her acclaimed New York Times bestseller, Delirium. This riveting, brilliant novel crackles with the fire of fierce defiance, forbidden romance, and the sparks of a revolution about to ignite.

It's more or less a rule that book two in a trilogy is never as good a book one. Pandemonium breaks that rule. I wouldn't go as far as to say it's better than book one, it's hands down just as good as Delirium. 

It's written in a non-linear way, which I like. Jumping between 'Then', which picks up where the story left off in book one, and 'Now', a point in the near-ish future. It makes the story move along at quicker pace, without having to leave out all the slow bits of Lena getting from there to here. It works really well, because 'Then' can be a little slow paced, but it's important and only lasts a chapter and you're back in "Now" where things are getting...complicated. 

Julian...I'm not sure exactly how I feel about about Julian. I guess he grew on me...grew on me as his character grew as person. Even though he's basically a more repressed, richer, male version of Lena from book one. By the end, right up until the ending happened, I was really starting to get behind where things were going with this Julian fellow. But then the ending happened. 

THE ENDING. Glugghrg. That the sound my brain makes when it thinks about the ending. I spent the whole book thinking about this thing I was sure was going to happen. And I wanted it to happen. There were several opportunities for it to happen that it didn't happen. I had given up on it happening and in fact - didn't want it to happen anymore. And then at the very, very bitter end, it happened and I couldn't decide if I was happy or sad about it. And my brain melted a little bit. 

On a scale from Totally Awesome to Horrifically Awful, I'd give it a Just Awesome, same as book one. I am pretty afraid of book three - can it possibly stand up to the greatness of it's predecessors? At the same time, I can not possibly get it into my hands fast enough.

Shadow and Bone (The Grisha Trilogy)

Shadow and Bone (Grisha Trilogy) by Leigh Bardugo

From Amazon: Surrounded by enemies, the once-great nation of Ravka has been torn in two by the Shadow Fold, a swath of near impenetrable darkness crawling with monsters who feast on human flesh. Now its fate may rest on the shoulders of one lonely refugee.

Alina Starkov has never been good at anything. But when her regiment is attacked on the Fold and her best friend is brutally injured, Alina reveals a dormant power that saves his life—a power that could be the key to setting her war-ravaged country free. Wrenched from everything she knows, Alina is whisked away to the royal court to be trained as a member of the Grisha, the magical elite led by the mysterious Darkling.

Yet nothing in this lavish world is what it seems. With darkness looming and an entire kingdom depending on her untamed power, Alina will have to confront the secrets of the Grisha . . . and the secrets of her heart.

Shadow and Bone is the first installment in Leigh Bardugo's Grisha Trilogy.

I did not expect to love this book as much as I did. Does it ruin a review if you already know at the beginning how the reviewer feels about it? Meh, too late now. I loved this book. I'm not sure why I ever thought I wouldn't. Young adult trilogy. Female main character. Kind of dystopia like, I guess? All check marks in the things I enjoy column. I think it's the magic thing. I'm really not interested in people who have magical powers, in general, I guess. But it had good reviews and sounded interesting enough. Plus the cover art is cool. So I checked it out of my local library.

And then I started reading it, and holy crap did I ever get drawn into it. Fast. Alina hasn't even discovered her powers yet, and I'm struggling to put it down to go to bed.

Lets talk characters.

Alina is kind of awkward, but also clever and sarcastic. Awesome main character. Love her. I have tons of cliche things to say about her underlying strength and whatnot, but I wont. She's just awesome.

The Darkling - there is a swoon worthy male character. Yes, it's kind of a stupid name, but it works in the book. Somehow. It adds to the mysteriousness of him, I guess. Giving him a real name like Viktor or Nicolai - it just wouldn't work. I know he does have a real name (there was an illusion to "when he gave up his name"), so I hope this isn't going to be like the Divergent Series, where when we found out Four's real name, and then Tris keeps calling him that even though it totally doesn't suit who he is now (as opposed to who he was before he became Dauntless). Anyway, The Darkling - I don't really know how to write about The Darkling without spoilers. But yeah. THE DARKLING.

Who I didn't feel super excited about was Mal. I get the concept of Alina's feelings for Mal - girl falls for best friend who doesn't see her that way. I get it. And I know Mal's supposed to be handsome and confident and all the girls love him - I know because Alina told us so. You know that old piece of writing advice, Show, don't tell? This is the opposite of that. I think it's that he didn't have enough page time at the beginning to show it, though, because the author can write an awesome character (see: Alina and The Darkling).

Lets talk story

Ok, so yeah, the story isn't super original, but it doesn't follow the exact same patterns of every other young adult trilogy I've read recently. And that's something. It never felt tired or old or boring. It never felt unbelievable or wrong.

Words I would use to describe it would include engaging, engrossing and incredible.

The worst part of this book was when it was over. The second worst part? Finding out the library doesn't have book two. And third worst is that book three isn't even released yet.

On a scale from Totally Awesome to Horrifically Awful, I'd give it an Incredibly Awesome. I would absolutely recommend this book to anyone who's a fan of young adult fiction, or magic, or just likes good books.

The Forest of Hands and Teeth

The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan

From Amazon: In Mary's world there are simple truths. The Sisterhood always knows best. The Guardians will protect and serve. The Unconsecrated will never relent. And you must always mind the fence that surrounds the village; the fence that protects the village from the Forest of Hands and Teeth. But, slowly, Mary’s truths are failing her. She’s learning things she never wanted to know about the Sisterhood and its secrets, and the Guardians and their power, and about the Unconsecrated and their relentlessness. When the fence is breached and her world is thrown into chaos, she must choose between her village and her future—between the one she loves and the one who loves her. And she must face the truth about the Forest of Hands and Teeth. Could there be life outside a world surrounded in so much death?

I should have majorly loved this book. Dystopia (I guess? I'm not sure if it really fits that category, but I'm putting it there. If not, post-apocalyptic, for sure), female lead, young adult trilogy, ZOMBIES. If you were making a list of things I love, those things would be on it. Even so, I just didn't love this book. 

Don't get me wrong -  I didn't hate it or anything. I gave it three stars on Goodreads. I'm going to read book two. I'm just not as head over heals about it as expected. 

First of all, I prefer books written in first person narrative. Third person narration won't ruin a book for me, but it will lose points (that is, if I used a point system for rating books, rather than the arbitrary way I currently use). On top of that, the characters are a little flat. They were alright, but...yeah, flat. Oh, and Travis, love interest of main character Mary? Boring. When bad things happened to the main characters, I wasn't sad. I wasn't happy either. I was indifferent. 

Now, Mary...I found Mary pretty unlikable - selfish and kind of awful. Still, I wanted her to succeed and I wanted her to live. I wanted her to be happy. Actually, she was unlikable in the best kind of way - a way that made her real. Guess what? Teenagers are often selfish and awful - I know I was. In fact, I can still be selfish and awful, sometimes.  

The zombies were perfectly zombie like. They were the right amount of scary and didn't try to be something new or unique - they were just zombies, and if they bit you, you'd be one too. I really liked that the word 'zombie' is never, ever used in the book. Nor are they 'walkers' or 'walking dead' or any of the other popular zombie names. They are The Unconsecrated. They aren't zombies, but they are zombies. 

On a scale from Totally Awesome to Horrifically Awful, I'd give it Perfectly Alright. I'll keep reading the trilogy, but I'm not really expecting much. 

PHILLIPS PUMPKIN PIE LIQUEUR

Today I'm going to review something that isn't a book. I know, insanity, right? Don't worry, there is another book review coming on Thursday. Order will be restored, rest assured.

Anyway.

Booze!

So I recently bought some Phillips Pumpkin Pie Liqueur. Strangely, the product doesn't seem to exist on Phillips' website, so here is a link to the product page on the NSLC.

I'd walked by it several times. I'd considered buying it, but passed. Eventually, I could resist no longer - I had to try it.

Now, I like pumpkin pie as much as the next girl, but it's not my favorite pie ever. That would be pecan. And blueberry. But pumpkin pie is pretty awesome. And I like pumpkin flavoured things - pumpkin beer, pumpkin spice lattes....etc. So yeah, I needed to try it.

This is the product description from the bottle: Fresh from the oven pumpkin pie taste with layers of pumpkin spice, cinnamon and a hint of light pastry crust. Just the way Grandma used to make it. Add to your favorite coffee drink or enjoy over ice. 

...that's a pretty tall order. You're telling me I'm going to taste a hint of pie crust? I was pretty doubtful. My assumptions were as follows - it will be sweet and tasty, and reminiscent of pumpkin pie, but there is no way it will taste like pie.

My husband tasted it first. "Does it taste like pumpkin pie?" I asked.
"It tastes like cinnamon hearts..." he replied, but moments later says, "No, wait, I guess it taste like pumpkin pie."

I took a sip of mine, and he was right - at first it tastes like very mild cinnamon hearts, but as it sits with you, it absolutely tastes very much like pumpkin pie. It even has that hint of crust that was promised. I am not joking. Also, have you ever heard someone talk about a drink's mouthfeel? It's usually from someone who takes wine tasting a little too seriously. If that's your experience, please don't roll your eyes. Mouthfeel of drinks is a real thing. Also, wine tasting should never be too serious. Anyway, the mouthfeel of this liqueur is...custard-y. Like pumpkin pie.

...in short, it was weird.

A good weird though. Not a bad weird like Jelly Belly Buttered Popcorn Jelly Beans. The jelly beans taste exactly like popcorn. Exactly. But, obviously, the texture is so wrong it makes them bad weird. This liqueur has a definite pumpkin pie like taste, but is different enough that it's not wrong that it's a liquid rather than, you know, a pie.

So yeah. Good, but pretty weird.

Would I buy it again? Probably not, unless I had a specific cocktail that required it . But I was not disappointed and would recommend you give it a try if you like pumpkin pie and weird food products. And booze.

Delirium

Delirium by Lauren Oliver

From Amazon: They say that the cure for Love will make me happy and safe forever. And I've always believed them. Until now. Now everything has changed. Now, I'd rather be infected with love for the tiniest sliver of a second than live a hundred years smothered by a lie.

Although I read a lot of different kinds of books, I definitely have a type of book I'm drawn to. And that's Young Adult fiction set in a dystopia, preferably with a female lead character, preferably part of a trilogy. I may not fit the core demographic, but I'm not concerned. A good book is a good book, no matter who it's written for.

There are two ways to tell that a first book in a series is succeeding: first, when you're reading it, and you have to stop reading it, you want nothing more than to be reading it again (also known as you finish very quickly) and second, once you're finished you want to be reading book two immediately. 

Delirium passed both tests. I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Lena is an excellent main character and I liked how sure she was about what was going to make her happy in life at the beginning. And (main love interest) Alex - although he could have stood to be a little more flawed, he served his purpose as the catalyst for change, and was sufficiently fan girl swoon worthy. The premise of love as disease great.

The biggest complaint I have is that nothing particularly surprising happened. Except the thing with the cows. I was surprised by that, I suppose. But I was not surprised by any of the major plot points. The overall pattern of things that happened was very familiar, if you happen to read a lot of young adult trilogies. Luckily, the particulars of the story, it's good characters and beautiful writing carried it to enjoyable heights, even with it's predictable patterns.

On a scale from Totally Awesome to Horrifically Awful, I'd give it a Just Awesome. I'm really looking forward to book two.

Allegiant (Divergent Trilogy, Book Three)

Allegiant by Veronica Roth

I have written reviews of the first two books in the series: Divergent and Insurgent. I would recommend skipping the link to Divergent, as the review is just plain awful. It's hardly a review at all. It's mostly just me writing that I loved the book. There, I've summed the whole review up in one sentence, so lets move on.

From Amazon: What if your whole world was a lie? What if a single revelation—like a single choice—changed everything? What if love and loyalty made you do things you never expected? The explosive conclusion to Veronica Roth's #1 New York Times bestselling Divergent trilogy reveals the secrets of the dystopian world that has captivated millions of readers in Divergent and Insurgent.

I really wanted to be blown away by this book, you know? Divergent still stands as one of my favorite books ever. Insurgent was excellent, but not anywhere near as good as the first, so I hoped it would be a bridge between two phenomenal books. It didn't work out that way.

Don't get me wrong. I really enjoyed Allegiant. I mean, I read it in a day. I wouldn't say that I couldn't put it down, but there were tons of things I could have done that day which didn't involve spending all day reading. It helps that YA novels are easily digestible - reading it all at once was not a strain. I at no point felt bored or like I had to force myself to keep reading. It was perfectly enjoyable. But it wasn't the magnificent third book I'd hoped for, that's all.

Tris is still an awesome character. I love, love, love that girl. In Insurgent, she was so broken, but she's managed to more or less put the pieces back together in Allegiant. She's much more sure of herself and...I don't know, leader-y now, which is a big change from Beatrice Prior from page one of Divergent. She grew as a character in a very real way. Roth did a great job on her.

The ending. No spoilers here - if you want that, just read the reviews on amazon. They are lousy with spoilers. So the main conflict part just kind of...ended. It was all action and excitement and then all of a sudden it was over even though nothing really significant happened to stop it. Also, the very very end was a little too...ThingsWorkedOutPrettyWell-TheEnd. It wasn't as if everything was perfect and happily ever after, but...yeah, I don't know. It was a little off. BUT. The big thing that happened that everyone thinks was wrong and just for shock? It wasn't wrong. It sucked and I hated but it was so right for that character. It was that character making the choice that they absolutely would have made, because of who that character is. It's ok to hate it, but that doesn't make it wrong.

On a scale from Totally Awesome to Horrifically Awful, I'd give it Pretty Excellent. The trilogy definitely started out on a high note and got progressively...I don't want to say worse, but...less awesome. Still, I'm glad book two and three exist. I'm a sucker for a trilogy, after all. And I'm glad I read the whole series. And I still recommend that everyone who has not read Divergent should go read it right now. That is all.

Fateful

Fateful by Claudia Gray

From Amazon: Eighteen-year-old maid Tess Davies is determined to escape the wealthy, troubled family she serves. It’s 1912, and Tess has been trapped in the employ of the Lisles for years, amid painful memories and twisted secrets. But now the Lisle family is headed to America, with Tess in tow. Once the ship they’re sailing on—the RMS Titanic—reaches its destination, Tess plans to strike out and create a new life for herself.

Her single-minded focus shatters when she meets Alec, a handsome first-class passenger who captivates her instantly. But Alec has secrets of his own. He’s in a hurry to leave Europe, and whispers aboard the ship say it’s because of the tragic end of his last affair with the French actress who died so gruesomely and so mysteriously. . . .

Soon Tess will learn just how dark Alec’s past truly is. The danger they face is no ordinary enemy: werewolves exist and are stalking him—and now her, too. Her growing love for Alec will put Tess in mortal peril, and fate will do the same before their journey on the Titanic is over.

In Fateful, New York Times bestselling author Claudia Gray delivers paranormal adventure, dark suspense, and alluring romance set against the opulent backdrop of the Titanic’s first—and last—voyage.

I bought this book from the $10 or Less table at my local mall book store when I was out shopping for a coffee maker. I needed a non-digital book to read between calls at work (one of the few perks of call centre life), because our electronics policy prevents me from using my kindle on the call floor. I know, it's a hard life. The story seemed vaguely interesting - historical teen romance on the Titanic, mystery boy with a dark secret...Sounds ok. I did not, no mater what my husband says, buy it just because the book jacket was shiny. Although that didn't hurt.
So, this might be a spoiler, but not really because it's all over the internet in every review everywhere - this is not just a historical teen romance on the Titanic - this is historical teen romance on the Titanic with werewolves. Oh, yes. Sounds terrible, right? Like, the kind of epic terribleness that could make the book awesome or could bomb miserably.  

Also, I would like to note that I do not, regardless of appearances and reviews of Hemlock Grove, have a werewolf obsession.

It's not that it's really that great of a book. I mean, obviously I enjoyed it enough to read it in two days. It wasn't wholly original (a lot of reviews point out it's basically Titanic but with werewolves) and not particularly surprising or suspenseful. I could pretty much see where things were going, more or less, the entire time. 

So, figured I'd get a week or more worth of work reading out of this. Instead, on the day I started it, when I came home from work, I thought, I'll just finish this one chapter that I'm in the middle of. And then binge read well over half of the thing, right up until the time I had to force myself to stop and go to bed. I only stopped to cook and eat supper. I might need to work on my impulse control. I polished off the rest during my shift the next day. 

Still, I read the whole thing in two days. I mean, I'm not a slow reader, but still. Two days.

I spent a good chunk of time trying to hate all of the characters. This was set on the Titanic, so obviously everyone was going to die. This may or may not have actually come to pass by the end of the book. I figured, probably main character Tess gets to live, but everyone else is going to die so I better not get attached to anyone. Unfortunately, all of the characters that you're supposed to like are absolutely likable, and the characters you're supposed to hate are jackasses and monsters. Not overly complex, but easy enough to get into. 

I'm going to make some Divergent comparisons now. Divergent is on my list of favorite books ever, and although this book doesn't rank anywhere close to that, there are some strong parallels between the main characters and their love interests, which might explain how I got pulled into this book so completely. Parallels that start at the very coincidental fact that one is named Tess and the other is named Tris. Coincidental, but still. Also they are both so much stronger, smarter and capable than they realize. Love interests Alec and Four are both mysterious and broody, at least at first. Not sure where exactly I'm going with this paragraph. Interesting similarities, is all. 

The ending. I hated the ending. Even if it did end in Halifax. How to do this without spoilers....Ok, so sometimes you really want something to happen in a story, but you know it can't happen because it's wrong. It's just the wrong ending for the story. So no matter how much you want it to happen, it can't. Well, in this book, the thing I wanted to happen but shouldn't happen, happened. I was reading along, and this other thing happened, and I was like, Oh god. Really? Really, Claudia Gray? You are really doing this. And then it happened. The end. It didn't ruin the book, and it wasn't a bad ending, but it was wrong. Oh so very wrong. 

On a scale from Totally Awesome to Horrifically Awful, I'd give Fateful an Almost Excellent. A fun, quick, albeit unoriginal read with a not great ending. And werewolves. 

All Employees Are Marketers

All Employees Are Marketers by Richard Parkes Cordock

From Amazon: All Employees are Marketers: Real-life, Proven, Employee-driven Strategies to Get More Customers... Get More Referrals... Get More Revenues... and Get More Profits! 

This book has been sitting on my kindle for quite some time now. I'm pretty sure that it was free when I got it. As of this writing, it is $1.93. I wouldn't pay that much for it. 

I shouldn't say that. It's not a bad book. It's pretty well written and the author probably put a fair amount of work into it. It also had hardly any unnecessary exclamation marks (a common problem I've noticed in free/cheap ebooks) which I appreciate. Had I paid two dollars for it, I wouldn't have felt ripped off, per sey. I would have felt exactly the same way I feel about it now - Underwhelmed. 

There is nothing about it that is particularly groundbreaking. It all seems like common sense. Every employee should be concerned with customer happiness, retention and acquisition, whether or not they their job title says they should be. The customer pays their salary, directly or indirectly. Not only that, if you have a good product and happy employees, they will tell people about it, bringing in more customers. 

I know, right? Earth shattering revelations.  You also get some good examples, including personal anecdotes, of companies that get this right. 

...and that's it. There's no talk of how exactly you're supposed make this happen. That's the problem. The reason you don't see this taking place at more companies isn't because owners and managers don't know it. It's 'an easier said than done' kind of thing. 

On a scale from Totally Awesome to Horrifically Awful I'd give All Employees Are Marketers a Meh. If you're looking for solutions, you won't find them here. 

Hemlock Grove: A Netflix Original Series

Hemlock Grove is a Netflix original series about murder, werewolves, gypsies, rich people who have mind control powers, weird genetic experiments and high school. Well, I guess it's not really about high school, but the bulk of the main characters are in high school. Also, angels impregnating teenage girls.

Sounds...confusing? Yeah.

Here's the synopsis from Netflix: The mangled body of a teenage girl is discovered outside a rusted Pennsylvania steel town, where every resident harbors a dark secret. Suspicions and accusations mount as a manhunt for the killer intensifies, even as evidence mounts that the suspect is not a man at all. Famke Janssen and Dougray Scott star in this terrifying series from horror director Eli Roth ("Hostel") and novelist Brian McGreevy, nominated for two 2013 Emmy Awards.

After binge watching Orange is the New Black (loved it, by the way), Netflix was all, Hey, you liked that? Maybe you'll like this other original series we have: Hemlock Grove. And I was like, Netflix, that show looks kind of terrible, but I'll give it a try if you say so. I'm pretty trusting when computer algorithms tell me what to do, I guess. 

Oh god, this show. It's just...so...yeah. I want to say it's awful. I really do. But I loved it. I really, really did. And when season 2 comes out, I'll be watching. Probably non-stop until all of the episodes are gone, just as I did this season. I watched two or three episodes a night, every night for a week-ish. I guess the fact that I loved it doesn't mean it wasn't also awful. Awful, but also captivating and awesome.

...this is exactly why I should not review things. 

There is a lot going on in the show. There is a werewolf that is killing people and the police are more or less clueless (or possibly in denial). A werewolf that is definitely not main character Peter (seriously, did his name have to be Peter?), even though he's also a werewolf and the killing started right after he and his mom moved into his dead uncle's rundown trailer for some reason. I guess because they're gypsies and that's what gypsies do? I don't really know anything about gypsies. There are also a few appearances of Peter's cousin who is a psychic, a prostitute and does magic. Gypsies are magic, I guess.

Peter teams up with new friend Roman to hunt this other werewolf. Roman is a rich kid with no real friends, so it only makes sense that he befriended Peter - a poor gypsy with no friends. Roman is from a very influential and hated family, and has an unhealthy obsession with his cousin. A quote from this spoiler filled link: "you can't tell who Roman loves more: his friend Peter or his cousin Letha." So epicly true. There are also some gifs that illustrate this point perfectly. There is crazy sexual tension between Peter and Roman. Roman is a vampire (or, sorry, Upir - Russian Vampire) but doesn't know it. Peter and his family know, though, because gypsies are magic. This vampirism give Roman mind control powers. More on his family: His sister died when she was a baby, but was somehow brought back to life, now horribly deformed, with skin that glows when touched and when she's upset the lights flicker. His mother, who is kind of a drug addict and an all around asshole, is sleeping with his uncle.  His cousin thinks she was impregnated by an angel. Yeah.

Also hunting the wolf are the police (who think it's a regular wolf), and they've teamed up with (fake?) Fish and Wildlife agent - Dr. Clementine Chasseur. Who actually is a monster hunter for the church. Main police guy - Sheriff Tom - seems to know they're after a werewolf, but doesn't want to admit it. He has twin daughters who's best friend goes crazy after finding one of the corpses.

There is also some kind of super secret...something...going on at Godfrey Institute - Roman's family's company which I guess is some kind of medical research biotech lab? None of this is really explained.

I think that's everything, but I'm sure I'm missing something.

So you've got this plot, which RedEye's review accurately described as "a rambling, nonsensical mess". Even with all of that going on, it often seems like nothing is happening. It is not a fast paced show. On top of that, a lot of the writing is really bad. Some of the acting is really bad. And sometimes both the acting and writing are so bad you can't tell which is worse. All of which is why I want to say that it's awful. But I still can't bring myself to say that. Because I loved it too much.

I guess the big question is, should you watch? That's the whole point of reviews, right? And the answer is...I don't know. There are certainly worse things to watch on television. No. I'm going to take a stand and say yes: check it out. Enjoy it's convoluted terribleness, and love it for what it is: Entertainingly awful.

Note: the following trailer is rated for mature audiences only.

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

If this book did nothing else, it made me want to garden. Out in the sun, getting my hands dirty...however, as I was reading it in December, alas, it wasn't to be.

...anyway...

I really enjoyed this book. It had good flow and the writing style was really enjoyable. And if you're interested in farming, gardening or local food (for me - checks on the last two), this book is for you.

...I will admit, the tone could lead a little toward preachy - it's a little hard to write a book about eating only local food without being at least a little preachy, I suppose - and sometimes their family life does seem a little too perfect and squabble free. I really didn't find that it detracted from the book much, though.

On a scale from Totally Awesome to Horrifically Awful I'd give it a Quite Awesome. Check it out if you need a push towards putting in a few tomato plants this summer, or just like reading about other people growing food.

View all my reviews  • Buy Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life on Amazon

Happier Bride: A Guide to Happiness and Planning Your Wedding

Happier Bride: A Guide to Happiness and Planning Your Wedding by Minna Sithep
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I received a digital copy of the book to review for free from the author.

If I had been inclined to get a wedding planning book when I was planning my own wedding, I think this is the type of book I would have been drawn to. It's has a very laid back tone. The happiness advice is on par with the other happiness tips I've read, and the planning advice is simple and to the point. It reads very much like a blog, without feeling like you could get all of the information online for free. Of course, you could, but not in such a well organized package, and not all in one place.

On a scale from Totally Awesome to Horrifically Awful I'd give it a Pretty Good. Definitely worth checking out if you're about to plan a wedding.

View all my reviews

Buy on Amazon

Boost Your Memory: 52 brilliant ideas you won't forget

Boost Your Memory: 52 brilliant ideas you won't forget by Darren Bridger 
 
There is absolutly no one that couldn't benifet in some way from reading this book. There is a little bit of something for everyone. However, that means there is a lot in it that probably wont be relivant or interesting to you.

I found myself bored for most chapters. My mind wandered, I skimmed...I just wasn't interested.

On a scale from Totally Awesome to Horrifically Awful I'd give it an Alright. I happened to get this as a free download - which is no longer available. I might feel differently if I'd payed for it. I don't think there's anything groundbreaking in it.

...Meh.

The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America

The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America by Erik Larson

Description: Two men, each handsome and unusually adept at his chosen work, embodied an element of the great dynamic that characterized America’s rush toward the twentieth century. The architect was Daniel Hudson Burnham, the fair’s brilliant director of works and the builder of many of the country’s most important structures, including the Flatiron Building in New York and Union Station in Washington, D.C. The murderer was Henry H. Holmes, a young doctor who, in a malign parody of the White City, built his “World’s Fair Hotel” just west of the fairgrounds—a torture palace complete with dissection table, gas chamber, and 3,000-degree crematorium. Burnham overcame tremendous obstacles and tragedies as he organized the talents of Frederick Law Olmsted, Charles McKim, Louis Sullivan, and others to transform swampy Jackson Park into the White City, while Holmes used the attraction of the great fair and his own satanic charms to lure scores of young women to their deaths. What makes the story all the more chilling is that Holmes really lived, walking the grounds of that dream city by the lake.

The Devil in the White City draws the reader into a time of magic and majesty, made all the more appealing by a supporting cast of real-life characters, including Buffalo Bill, Theodore Dreiser, Susan B. Anthony, Thomas Edison, Archduke Francis Ferdinand, and others. In this book the smoke, romance, and mystery of the Gilded Age come alive as never before.

Erik Larson’s gifts as a storyteller are magnificently displayed in this rich narrative of the master builder, the killer, and the great fair that obsessed them both.

I found this book to be really interesting while I was reading it, but just didn't get drawn into it like I often do with books. It took me over a month to finish it, mostly because I always found something else I could pass my time with, not because it was a difficult read or I was particularly busy.

The bulk of the book centered around The Chicago World's Fair - from it's beginning idea, through the trials and triumphs it had right up to it's end. There was a lot of talk about architecture. As someone who has absolutely no interest in architecture (other than being glad that it exists) I found these parts a little tedious. And I guess that was my whole problem with the book. Although I really enjoyed reading about the creation of the first ever Ferris Wheel and the other majestic elements of The White City, all the in between parts slowed things down for me.

I really enjoyed reading the parts about H. H. Holmes. What can I say, I like reading about serial killers. That probably says more about me than the book. I guess it's a slow down to gawk at car wrecks kind of thing.

On a scale from Totally Awesome to Horrifically Awful I'd give it a Pretty Good. I could have enjoyed it more, but I also could have enjoyed it less. 

The Killer Inside Me

The Killer Inside Me by Jim Thompson

Book Description: Lou Ford is the deputy sheriff of a small town in Texas.  The worst thing most people can say against him is that he's a little slow and a little boring.  But, then, most people don't know about the sickness--the sickness that almost got Lou put away when he was younger.  The sickness that is about to surface again.

This book was written in 1952. One of the big issues I have with older novels is that the writing style is dated, which makes me bored. Unlike most old books, it doesn't read like an old book. It reads like it could have been written yesterday, and set in 1952.

A first person account from Lou Ford - Deputy Sheriff and Psychopath. Ok, I'm no psychologist, so I'm not sure that's the correct diagnosis, but he's got "the sickeness". He's a manipulative, charming liar and he likes to kill people.

I found the book interesting and suspenseful. I really liked the first person aspect of it - seeing both the real Lou, and the Lou he showed to the rest of the town. And I absolutely didn't see the ending coming until it happened.

On a scale from Totally Awesome to Horrifically Awful I'd give it a Quite Great. Well written and stands the test of time thus far. 

Containment

Containment by Christian Cantrell

Book description: The colony on Venus was not built because the destruction of Earth was possible, but because it was inevitable…
A brilliant young scientist and one of the first humans born on Venus, Arik works tirelessly to perfect the science of artificial photosynthesis, a project crucial to the future of his home, V1. The colony was built on the harsh Venusian surface by the Founders, the first humans to establish a permanent extraterrestrial settlement. Arik’s research becomes critical when he awakens from an unexplained, near-fatal accident and learns that his wife is three months pregnant. Unless Arik’s research uncovers a groundbreaking discovery, V1’s oxygen supply will not be able to support the increase in population that his baby represents.
As Arik works against time, he begins to untangle the threads of his accident, which seem inextricably linked to what lies outside the protective walls of V1—a world where the caustic atmosphere and extreme heat make all forms of known life impossible. For its entire existence, Arik's generation has been expected to help solve the problems of colonization. But as Arik digs deeper and deeper, he discovers alarming truths about the planet that the Founders have kept hidden. With growing urgency and increasing peril, Arik finds himself on a journey that will push him to the limits of his intelligence and take him beyond the unimaginable.
This book has an interesting premise, that although isn't new, will continue to be interesting to me in it's many forms. First off Earth colony and it's trials and struggles. Generally, when something has a theme I love (zombies, dystopian futures), I either love it or hate it, so I try not to get my hopes up too high. 

The beginning was a bit slow. There was a lot of history of earth and colonization of space stuff. The only thing that got me through was that, chapter to chapter, we jumped back and forth through time, breaking the dull bits into more manageable chunks.

I really liked the characters, although I have no idea why. They were awfully one dimensional. I still found myself caring about them and wanting good things to happen to them.

As I was writing this, I learned Christian Cantrell is also a technology writer. A piece of info that was not at all a shock after reading his novel. There are a lot of very detailed descriptions of the tech used in the V1 colony. Although there were times when I felt like I wished the author would get on with whatever it was he was moving toward, for the most part I didn't feel like details bogged down the story.

I was not a fan of the ending. There were just too many unanswered questions. Purposely unanswered, which bugs me even more. I'm all for a little bit of unknown at the end of a story - if everything is spelled out for you, it seems forced and fake. I'm not looking for an And-Everyone-Live-Happily-Ever-After situation. But there's a fine line between leaving a little to the imagination and leaving your reader feeling unfulfilled. Containment didn't make it to the line. If it seemed that the author wanted to make room for a sequel, I'd maybe be a little more understanding. This book doesn't need a sequel though. It needs an epilogue.

On a scale from Totally Awesome to Horrifically Awful I'd give it an All Right, I Guess. It could have been better, but it could have also been much worse.

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Zombies

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Zombies by Matt Mogk

Description: The most comprehensive zombie handbook ever published.  In one indispensable volume, Matt Mogk busts popular myths and answers all your raging questions about the living dead.  With foreword written by Max Brooks!

It might go without saying, but I have a thing for zombies. I spend a lot of time thinking about them. Two of my favourite books ever are zombie books (World War Z, The Zombie Survival Guide). I am itching for The Walking Dead to come back on air. I love zombies. Well, not actually because zombies are horrifying. You know what I mean.

This book is better than The Zombie Survival Guide. I'll let that sink in for a minute. In The Zombie Survival Guide, Max Brooks takes some creative liberties (such as knowing how zombies come into existence) in the name of entertainment. Which is fine. Great even. As I said, The Zombie Survival Guide is one of my favourite books ever. What makes Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Zombies the better book is that it is all fact. Although zombies are a fictional being, science says they aren't impossible. The book provides good insight into that.

The book not only explores the science of zombies, it gives an in depth look at all manor of zombies in popular culture - from film, literature and video games to zombie walks and zombie proms. It really is everything you wanted to know about zombies.

On a scale from Totally Awesome to Horrifically Awful, I'd give it a Totally Awesome. It joins the ranks of my favourite books of all time. If you even have a slight interest in zombies, you should read this.

Naked Cruelty

Naked Cruelty: A Carmine Delmonico Novel by Colleen McCullough

Description: Carmine Delmonico returns in another riveting page-turner by international bestselling author Colleen McCullough.
America in 1968 is in turmoil and the leafy Holloman suburb of Carew is being silently terrorized by a series of vicious and systematic rapes. When finally one victim finds the courage to speak out and go to the police, the rapist escalates to murder. For Captain Carmine Delmonico, it seems to be a case with no clues. And it comes as the Holloman Police Department is troubled: a lieutenant is out of his depth, a sergeant is out of control, and into this mix comes the beautiful, ruthlessly ambitious new trainee, Helen MacIntosh, daughter of the influential president of Chubb University.
As the killer makes his plans, Carmine and his team must use every resource at their disposal—including a highly motivated neighborhood watch, the Gentlemen Walkers.

This is the third novel staring Carmine Delmonico, Captain at Holloman Police Department. I didn't read the first two. When I picked this book up (for $4.99, off the bargain table at my local mall book store) I had a feeling that there were previous books but it wasn't super clear. I had no idea how many came before it until I started writing this review. I rightly assumed that it didn't matter - almost always when a book says it's an [insert name here] novel, it's just a bunch of books that that happen to star the same character. A few times while reading I thought, hmm, I'm sure that would make more sense if I'd read the other book(s)...but never during important plot points.

First and foremost I want to talk about the rape scenes. They were incredibly graphic and started as soon as the book did. If that's not the sort of thing you want to read, this is not the book for you. The graphic-ness of it came as a shock to me - generally you have some sort of warning about these things, even if it's just an inkling. I guess I'm used to police books having everyone show up after the fact, when everything is kind of glazed over and fuzzy. You get that something horrible has happened, but you aren't hit in the face with it. This book hits you in the face. You've been warned.

So, this book has a lot going on. That's another way it was different from most police investigation books I've read (and tv shows, and movies). Generally speaking, you usually have your one crime and it's the only thing (more or less) that the police unit in question is dealing with. Totally unrealistic but not something that's ever bothered me. Anyway, in this book you've got a sadistic rapist turned murder, you have someone vandalizing a glass shop, a bank robbery, a weapons cache found at a school and a kidnapping. And that's just the crime. There's also a bunch of personal and professional issues happening both within the police department and in Carmine's home. Even with all of that going on, it was still pretty easy to follow. I had really hoped that some - if not all - of the sub-crimes would be entirely unrelated to the big case (the rapes/murders). Sadly, all but one were connected together in one way or another, although some of the connections were tenuous at best. It wasn't exactly all wrapped up in a neat little box with a ribbon and a bow, but everything fit in there more or less. I was disappointed, but it was ok.

On a scale from Totally Awesome to Horrifically Awful, I'd give it a Pretty Good Boarding On Just Ok. I guess what kept me from really liking the book is that I didn't really like any of the characters. I also didn't hate them. They were just kind of there. That's a problem. But there was always something happening making it never boring. Would I read another Carmine Delmonico book? Probably not, but I wouldn't say never.

The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business

The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg


Description: A young woman walks into a laboratory. Over the past two years, she has transformed almost every aspect of her life. She has quit smoking, run a marathon, and been promoted at work. The patterns inside her brain, neurologists discover, have fundamentally changed.

Marketers at Procter & Gamble study videos of people making their beds. They are desperately trying to figure out how to sell a new product called Febreze, on track to be one of the biggest flops in company history. Suddenly, one of them detects a nearly imperceptible pattern—and with a slight shift in advertising, Febreze goes on to earn a billion dollars a year.

An untested CEO takes over one of the largest companies in America. His first order of business is attacking a single pattern among his employees—how they approach worker safety—and soon the firm, Alcoa, becomes the top performer in the Dow Jones.

What do all these people have in common? They achieved success by focusing on the patterns that shape every aspect of our lives.

They succeeded by transforming habits.

In The Power of Habit, award-winning New York Times business reporter Charles Duhigg takes us to the thrilling edge of scientific discoveries that explain why habits exist and how they can be changed. With penetrating intelligence and an ability to distill vast amounts of information into engrossing narratives, Duhigg brings to life a whole new understanding of human nature and its potential for transformation.

Along the way we learn why some people and companies struggle to change, despite years of trying, while others seem to remake themselves overnight. We visit laboratories where neuroscientists explore how habits work and where, exactly, they reside in our brains. We discover how the right habits were crucial to the success of Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps, Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz, and civil-rights hero Martin Luther King, Jr. We go inside Procter & Gamble, Target superstores, Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church, NFL locker rooms, and the nation’s largest hospitals and see how implementing so-called keystone habits can earn billions and mean the difference between failure and success, life and death.

At its core, The Power of Habit contains an exhilarating argument: The key to exercising regularly, losing weight, raising exceptional children, becoming more productive, building revolutionary companies and social movements, and achieving success is understanding how habits work.

Habits aren’t destiny. As Charles Duhigg shows, by harnessing this new science, we can transform our businesses, our communities, and our lives.

 This book follows a very familiar format. Basically, it mixes of neuroscience with both personal and professional/business stories to prove the point it's trying to make - in this case, the power of our habits and how to change and cultivate them for a better life and a better world. Luckily I love this type of book. See my reviews of Quiet, How We Decide and Imagine. After what happened with Jonah Lehrer/Imagine, I do take the information contained in them with more of a grain of salt, so to speak, but I give the authors the benefit of the doubt and don't let one bad apple spoil the whole genre.

We all have habits we'd like to change. The big question on everyone's mind is Will this book help me change them? To that I say...I don't know. Maybe. Probably. I mean, it's definitely not going to hurt. Knowing is half the battle and the underlying principals seem sound. Plus, the writing is good, the stories are interesting and it's an enjoyable read. And if you want to get into the habit of reading more, reading this book would be a pretty good first step.

On a scale from Totally Awesome to Horrifically Awful I'd give it an Extremely Awesome. Although the format is familiar to the point of almost overdone, I still loved every bit of it.

Why Quantum Physicists Don't Get Fat: Inject Your Diet With Rocket Fuel (Volume 1)

Why Quantum Physicists Don't Get Fat: Inject Your Diet With Rocket Fuel (Volume 1) by Greg Kuhn

Description: Finally say goodbye to unwanted weight!

1. Have you tried to lose weight only to wind up
gaining it all back (and more)?

2. Have you repeatedly dieted and been unsuccessful
at losing your unwanted weight?

3. Are you tired of trying to hide your weight gains
from family and friends because weight loss plans
just don't seem to work for you?

If you answered "yes" to any of those questions, you're no different than millions of Americans; you've been frustrated by your seeming inability to lose your unwanted weight. It might surprise you, though, to learn that the specific diets you've tried aren't the problem. Would it surprise you further to learn that YOU definitely aren't the problem either?

The problem is not the weight loss plans and neither is it you. The problem is the science! The diets you've tried have failed you because they are based on old, outdated science. Science that has, in fact, been replaced, right under your nose, by an amazingly accurate and incredibly reliable one called quantum physics.

Why Quantum Physicists Don't Get Fat will teach you, in simple, everyday language, to unlock the awesome power of quantum physics to inject any weight loss plan with nitroboosting rocket fuel. You'll quickly find that the great-feeling, slender body you've dreamed of is just around the corner!

If you'd like to read a weight loss success story (as well as the story
of how Why Quantum Physicists Don't Get Fat came to publication), go to
the following webpage:
natural-humor-medicine.com/why-quantum-physicists-dont-get-fat.html

When I failed to win a copy of this book on Goodreads, I was contacted with the information that it was available as a free kindle download for a limited time (no longer an option, but still a pretty good price).

As someone who knows absolutely nothing about quantum physics,  I had very little trouble following the science of the book. It was written in such a way that you don't have to have a science background to understand, which is important for this type of book. That being said, if you don't have much interest in science then you'll probably not enjoy the first half of the book as much as I did. I am however taking the author's word that the facts in the book are sound. It assured me several times that they had been successfully shown in lab testing. It just wasn't all that clear how exactly one would go about testing the claims being made; I just couldn't picture a test that would prove them since, as I've mentioned, I know nothing about quantum physics. It was a minor annoyance and I actually think the book would have been worse off if it had all of the minutiae details. It would have bogged it down too much. Luckily I generally give people the benefit of the doubt, so I'm willing to believe that the facts of the book are sound, even if I don't really get the why or the how of it.

On the diet front the advice is at it's most basic this: Eat foods that are good for you and move your body more. Common sense, sure, but it's good advice. The other part of it was that we need to tell ourselves better stories about the food that we're eating. This is what I feel made the book more than just another gimmicky weight loss book. I don't know if it aids in weight loss or not, but I really believe that the way we think about food it broken. If you can't feel good about what you're eating, that's a problem. Not that I'm immune to such thinking. Not even a little. So this point should be made as often as possible - no matter if it's dressed up as science or warm-and-fuzzy-self-help - Stop thinking about foods as good and bad, and if you can't feel good about eating something, perhaps you shouldn't be eating it.

Last point - this book suffers from what I've come to call Exclamation Mark Overkill. I'm mentioned this before (and again). Seriously - stop it. If your content can't stand on it's own as important information, the exclamation mark it only going to draw attention to your weak point. And if the information you're presenting really is important/ground breaking/novel/exciting/whatever, it'll be seen as such. Assume that your reader is smart enough to decide when a piece of info is exciting or interesting. Trust me. This book could have been a hundred times better. The important bits could have stood on their own. Unnecessary exclamation marks make your non-fiction books seem unpolished and amateurish. Don't do it.

On a scale from Totally Awesome to Horrifically Awful I'd give it a Pretty Decent. Easy to understand, interesting concepts on the science front, common sense on the diet end. Just...cut it out with the exclamation marks.