Top Reasons Why I'm Glad the Zombie Apocalypse Hasn't Started Yet

Other then the obvious downsides of a Zombie Apocalypse (loss of safety, convenience and the possibility of being eaten alive, etc), there are several reasons I’m glad that the hoards of undead are not yet roaming the streets in search of a tasty snack.

I am really out of shape

Could I out run a zombie? Probably. Could I out run a hoard of zombies? Maybe. Could I do either for any length of time? Not a chance.

I don’t know anything about guns

I’ve shot a gun on occasion. But I don’t know how to aim one, load one or when the safety is off. I’d just feel a lot safer if I knew these things.

Survival tactics? Um....

I think I cold survive in the woods over night. In the summer. Maybe longer if you gave me a cooler full of food. Or some non-perishables and a can opener. Not much longer, though.

I don’t have a disaster kit, let alone a zombie survival kit

Which is pretty dumb, since I live in a place where we have ridiculous snow storms and hurricanes. And the threat of zombies is always high!

Are you glad that there are no zombies yet? Or are you ready to go out and kick some walking dead ass?

Zombie Survival Kit: Getting prepared

So, you're now thinking about the coming Zombie Apocalypse. Good. Remain vigilant, or whatever. You should now be thinking about putting together a Zombie Survival kit.

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Now, I'm going to tell you something about me. I don't even have a stocked first aid kit, let alone a emergency preparedness kit. In fact, the other day I need a band-aid, and I didn't have any. I used a piece of gauze and scotch tape. Because that's how I roll. So this research I'm doing is as much for me as it is for you.

Lets talk very basic emergency kit and work our way up to our Holy-crap-it's-Zombie-time kit (What? What do you call your kit?).

The easiest way to start your Zombie Survival kit is to just go buy a ready made one. Look, here's some from Amazon:




Sure, you could probably just go buy all of this stuff for much cheaper, but it would more more time consuming and wouldn't come in a convenient package (some of them portable! very important for when you need to leave before the Zombies overrun your home). If you want to put it together yourself, you will need the following things at least: Water (and/or water purification tablets), Food (non-perishable!), Manual can opener (for your non-perishables), Crank flashlight (It would suck to be eaten by Zombies because you're out looting for batteries), crank radio, Extra keys, for house and car, a first aid kit, Cash in small bill and Special needs items - medications, baby formula and diapers, and equipment for people with disabilities.

Next, you'll want to add some or all of the following:

• Change of clothing and footwear for each person
• Sleeping bag or warm blanket for each person
• Pet food and pet medication
• Garbage bags and twist ties
• Multi-tool or basic tools (hammer, wrench, screwdriver, etc.)
• Duct tape
• Plastic sheeting
• Scissors or pocket knife
• Whistle
• Hand sanitizer
• Personal hygiene items
• Important family documents (copies of birth and marriage certificates, passports, licenses, wills, land deeds and insurance) 

Now you are ready for all disasters that are not zombies. Well, I guess you're prepared for the beginning part of the zombie uprising, assuming you've fortified your home. Or live in a fortress. Or a house on stilts. You could hunker down and wait out the initial panic. Of course, this also may not be the best idea, because it gives time for their numbers to grow. Anyway, if there's a hurricane you should be good and prepared.

Ok, lets talk weapons.

Obviously, you're going to need some weapons for zombie survival. First, I want you to remember: Guns are only as good as the person who is using it. Unlike shooting a regular human being, you need to be able to execute a head shot. Every time. Otherwise you'll just waste ammo and probably get yourself and everyone you love killed. This is not as easy as movies make it seem. If you know (no, not think, know) that you can do this, then you probably know way more about guns then I do, so I wont get into guns. You know what you need.

Now, for the rest of us.

Because we've had to rule out projectile weapons, we're going to have to get pretty close to the enemy to attack. For that reason, running is always a better option then fighting when it comes to zombie fights without guns. That being said, always be prepared to fight, just in case.

Here is a quick (kind of awful but very informative) video with some weapons you may want to consider:



You should keeps a few of these with your Zombie Survival kit. I'd also suggest stashing some around the house. You know, crowbar under the kitchen sink, baseball bat under the bed, machete in the bathroom drawer...those sorts of things. (This should go without saying: If you have children, please stash weapons responsibly!) And if you only remember one thing, make it this: as cool as hacking threw zombie brains with a chainsaw looks (totally epic), it's noisy and messy. You'll be alerting all the other zombies in range to your location and you'll probably get zombie blood in your mouth or eye or something. FYI: That would be bad.

That's really all you need in your kit, but there is always room for more.

Other items you may want to consider:

- Dust mask and safety glasses (You know, infected blood splatter and all.)
- Local map
- Compass
- Gas mask (available at army surplus stores and online)
- Ear plugs (for better sleep, and also because all that undead moaning might literally drive you insane)
- Long lasting glow sticks
- Rope
- Tarp (8 x 10 at least)
- Paper towel
- Burlap sacks
- A deck of cards
- A journal or notebook, pens & pencils

Congradulations, you're prepared!

Is there anything that I left out that you'd put in your Zombie Survival Kit?

Zombie Apocalypse: It matters to me and it should matter to you

If I was smart, I’d be writing about pumpkins right now.

As I’ve mentioned before, the post here on Dee Says that gets the most hits is one about pumpkins that I wrote back in 2009. And I’m using the term wrote very loosely here. A couple photos, a short blurb...that’s it. And it gets more hits then anything else I’ve posted ever. Even in months that are not October. But it’s not just the one post. I have other pumpkin related posts that also get a good number of hits, especially as we get closer to Halloween. The internet has spoken: They like it when I write about pumpkins.

But I don’t want to write about pumpkins.

Instead I’m going to write about Zombies. Not that zombies really have anything to do with Halloween. Except that they are kind of scary and make an easy costume (or an elaborate one. You really can go either way with zombie costumes). 

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I’m pretty concerned about zombies.

Unlike vampires, werewolves, ghosts and other paranormal/scary creatures, zombies could happen. Don’t roll your eyes at me. Science is pretty screwed up. And awesome. I mean, we clone sheep and make glow-in-the-dark cats, for god sake. You think an experiment gone wrong couldn’t create a zombie? Who would in turn make another zombie, and on and on until the world is in shambles and we’re fighting for our lives. And what about the other popular zombie premise: The Virus. A bit more of a stretch. A new, unknown virus that makes humans rise from the dead. But is it possible? Even in the remotest sense? I think you’d be hard pressed to say that it’s not with 100% (no margin for error) certainty. (Seriously, any Virologists out there, I would like an answer, especially if I’m wrong. Please comment!) 

You might think it’s a waste of time to prepare for a horror that does not yet exist. I say when the hordes of walking dead descend on our streets, it may be too late. Sure, you might fumble your way through, becoming an expert slowly but surely (trial by fire, as they say). Or you might end up joining the ranks of the risen dead army sooner, rather then later. I don’t know about you, but I like living.

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“Why would I devote my life to something like this? Well, let me put it this way. I’ve never had my house catch on fire, but I have a smoke alarm. I’ve never been in a car accident, but I have an airbag. I’ve never gotten scurvy, but I drink orange juice at breakfast.” –Max Brooks, author of The Zombie Survival Guide

If you are prepared for zombies, you are prepared for just about anything life could throw at you. The CDC had it right: Preparing for zombie survival is much like preparing for any other disaster. With a few twists that they strangely left out of their article.

When preparing Zombies, you should start by preparing the same way you would prepare for any disaster: By making a plan. Your plan should include things such as escape routes, evacuation plans, family contacts and meeting places. Make sure you have multiple options for each, in case routes are blocked or meeting places are unsafe. Hint: If you’re already considering a disaster plan ICoZ (In Case of Zombies), it’s not much extra work to include plans for other disasters that could happen in your area. For me that would mean snowstorms, floods and hurricanes. Think about the types of disasters that might happen in your area, and if they might need adding to your plan. Plus, what if there was a mega-disaster like a hurricane hits at the peak of the Zombie Apocalypse. Mother nature doesn’t stop because of zombies, ya know.

Next steps: Make a disaster preparedness kit and hone important survival skills. More on that coming soon.

Are you preparing for zombies?