Police Reports

I love reading the police report. Sure, a lot of it is what you'd expect: stolen property, traffic collisions, public drunkenness and the like. Every once and again, though, you get to read something that is incredibly entertaining, and often gloriously absurd.

My favorite excerpts from a recent local report:

• "A patient going to a New Minas clinic failed to leave her car in gear. It was reported stolen, but was located nearby, slightly damaged after having rolled away. "
  
• "A North Kentville resident phoned police about the smell of a load of manure."
• "At 4:15 p.m., police were informed of a possible impaired driver on Main St. The driver was simply avoiding potholes while delivering a wedding cake to the Blomidon Inn."

And, my absolute favorite:

• "Another man called to complain his car keys had been taken because he had consumed too much alcohol."

What's the funniest things that you've ever read in a police report?